I washed my phone the other day, and no amount of trying to dry it out was going to save it. Long story short, I ended up going without a phone for two weeks.
Losing my phone felt more like losing my arm. There was this loss of ability to contact family or friends, a loss of unlimited internet in my pocket, and a resounding return of something I had forgotten about: boredom. To counteract this boredom, I filled my time with hobbies and other enjoyable activities around the house, but then felt an unexpected sense of guilt. I felt I should be more accessible to my friends and I should work on more productive things. I know I’m not alone in this. Priceline put out a recent work-life balance study reporting that we feel guilty even thinking of taking time away. Most of us oppose the idea of spending time alone with nothing to do. In fact, it feels wasteful to us.
Time away from my phone was an invitation to rest, but I found myself unable to enjoy it.
The Forced Eremos
We live in a time of instant access, but God speaks when we quiet our hearts enough to hear. Pastor John Mark Comer of Bridgetown, in Portland, Oregon, gave a sermon on the biblical word eremos, which is the Greek word for a quiet or deserted place. The monks in the Middle Ages viewed an eremos as a place to encounter God and to do battle with Satan. It is in the eremos that our hearts fight through our weaknesses and find strength. After facing the temptations of Satan in the wilderness, Luke records that Jesus “returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee” (Luke 4:14, English Standard Version). Moses, Paul, and David also sought God’s presence in the wilderness, engaging in their discomforts with the hope of deeper fellowship with God.
Comer encouraged his congregation to lean into the discomfort of the forced eremos during the COVID-19 quarantine for the sake of our souls. Research shows we’ve been doing the opposite. We’ve filled the eremos with distractions because the discomfort of this time feels too great to face (For more information, read this and this). This addiction to distraction means we are never at rest inside of ourselves.
Our refusal to slow down (and by “slow down,” I don’t mean “binge on Netflix and satiate yourself with a quart of ice cream”) and take intentional time to get away is having an enormous impact on our health. In 2020, Psychology Today published a long list of the negative effects of living in this prolonged state of stress, specifically on the mental, emotional, and physical ramifications of running on empty for too long. Something has to change.
Are We Listening?
In 2018, NPR ran a news story titled One Square Inch of Silence. The organization takes groups out to a specific spot in the Hoh Rain Forest in Washington State where, one by one, they can sit alone in an area devoid of any man-made noise.
People are often surprised at their own reactions. It is not unusual for someone to cry. The journalist in this story said that he hadn’t realized how much he had not processed from recent life events until he entered such a silent, wild place alone. His mind settled, and tears came. He stayed there for over an hour. In the story, he confesses something that resonates with most of us: He couldn’t think of the last time he had sat alone in silence.
We are always on the go in our world. When was the last time you actually let yourself be quiet and undistracted enough to just listen?
Wilderness Therapy and Eremos
I have spent almost a decade of my life working with students who have experienced this sitting-in-silence revelation through the context of wilderness therapy. The things they realize about themselves, their choices, and their needs, often amaze the students. When they become quiet and choose to press into that quiet, they make decisions that rock their world for the good! I see these same effects from wilderness therapy. We like to remind our students that it’s rare someone gets an opportunity like this to get away from everything and work on themselves. All of us need this. Teenagers seem to hate the detoxification from all the noise, but they need this desperately. They have never invested time to sit by themselves, alone and quiet. Sending your kid to the wilderness can be one of the kindest gifts you could give.
What Are You Waiting For?
Here is the invitation: Take time to go away and be alone. Go to a quiet place. Turn off your phone for an hour (or put it on airplane mode if that makes you feel more comfortable). Don’t look at it for a while. Sit still and let your mind roam. Listen to the world around you, smell it, see it, feel it, and let it ground you. Focus on your breathing. Relax your muscles. Be still.
You will be bored and uncomfortable, but if you don’t take time to seize peace, you will never feel at rest inside, wrestle through your thoughts and your discomfort, or face your own demons so that you can come out on the other side to a place of peace, realization, understanding, acceptance, and rest.
You know you need this.
The question is, will you do it?